Downtime

I was supposed to go to Mombasa today, but in the end the thought of dealing with a large, bustling city in 30c heat didn't appeal, and I thought I'd afford myself that rare thing - a day off.

So I'm wandering the streets of Malindi, nosing in shops, having a quick Skype in the Bling Cafe (my initial bill was 8,542,894ksh, hastily corrected to 180 - things have a habit of being more expensive than you expect in Kenya, but that would have been a bit of a shock). Unfortunately, my tourist head had forgotten that it was Saturday. The Italian expat crowd are also in town, and with the influx of prey comes the predators. Previously hassle-free streets are now full of people making strange gestures at me, or over enthusiastically offering me sandals even though I am wearing the best pair in the world (FACT).

I've taken refuge in Li'l George's Coffee Shop, which for a coffee shop sells an inordinate amount of sparkling wine. Alas it is rather early in the day to sample such wares, though the thought of cold tasty bubbles is a strong lure...

Vasco de Gama's pillar stands, like an engorged chess piece, on a headland to the south of Malindi. Apparently he loved the pizzas so much that in 1497 he erected this enormous marker to help him find his favourite restaurant again. Sadly he was never to use it - his next stop was India. Once he'd tasted Chicken Madras there was literally no going back.

At least I think that was the story.

As part of the 500. ksh you pay to see Vasco's giant phallic mnemonic, you can have a squizz at the House of Columns, containing a very possibly real stuffed Coelacanth, and the Portuguese Chapel, featuring a very possibly real fake stuffed Jesus. In a charming homage to Christian tradition you are expected to make a contribution to the collection bowl. In a homage to my own youth I gave then 30p.

I have just seen a champagne bucket with flowers in it. I Love Pizza is a decent joint, though they burn their crusts a little and have a fascinating customer service ethos. The Head Waiter, Abel, remembers your name and calls to you as you pass in the street. But when he's actually serving you he contrives to give the impression that he'd rather be forced to sodomise a puppy than have more than a moment's interaction with you.

I have enjoyed Malindi more that I thought I would, though if every day had been like today I probably wouldn't. I shall retreat for an early night soon, after nursing one final pizza. Got mozzied on the leg last night - damn these little bastards are good. I have yet to do a study to see if they are more attracted to my blood before or after beer. With an early start tomorrow it may not be the right time to check, though this may not stop me.

Mombasa awaits me, if only briefly. Mom. Basa. Good name.